Raspberry

Some of you may be wondering where the heck I've been. "Why don't she write?" you may ask yourself. Well, the answer is that I've had, essentially, only one thing on my mind, and I wasn't quite ready to share the secret with the world. If I were following suggested protocol, I'd wait another two weeks or so to mention this, but, you know, some secrets are just too darn juicey to keep, and I've been sitting on this one a long time. I'm pregnant!

Typical questions at this point in the conversation are:
How far along? It'll be ten weeks (2.5 months) on Thursday, Oct. 2.
When are you due? April 30th, 2009 (Taurus/Ox)
Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? No, but I will on Dec. 10th.
Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl? Absolutely! I can't wait to find out.
Do you want a boy or a girl? I used to feel strongly about wanting a girl, especially since we have two boys already (from my husband's first marriage). Now, I feel I'd be proud to create anyone who is kind towards others and has respect for Mother Earth.
Do you have any names in mind yet? No, not at this time.
Is Webster (my husband) excited? Yes, he's so thrilled.

We are calling the baby Raspberry for now. Rest assured, Raspberry will get a traditional, probably somewhat old-fashioned name on the birth certificate, but this is the baby's magical name until s/he is ready to come up with a self-made one. Where did the name Raspberry come from? Well, Rabbit's girlfriend, Phoenix Honeybee, was talking about me one day, right about the time I conceived, and couldn't think of my name. She called me "Raspberry...?" and Rabbit was like (giggling), "You mean Ladybug?" All sorts of laughter continued for several minutes, Rabbit says. Well, it was so darn cute, and Rabbit told me this story on the same day I told her I was preggers, so it just seemed to fit that the baby was Raspberry.

Raspberry has just about everything a person needs in life, physiologically speaking, although in the form of a tiny body about the size of a Brazil nut (that's 1.5 inches). S/he is making 25,000 or 250,000 (I read conflicting reports) neurons every minute! At ten weeks, we go from talking about an "embryo" to a "fetus." If you could look inside my womb, Raspberry would look like this:















If you had been there at our first ultrasound three weeks ago, you would have seen Raspberry looking like this:




















One of the really neat things about the ultrasound is that we could see this little flashing light about halfway inside that peanut-looking blob (said blob is Raspberry). The doctor said, "See that flashing light? That's the baby's heartbeat!" I tell you, I am not one to cry in front of people I don't know really well, but this brought tears to my eyes. The funny thing about early pregnancy is that it's so abstract. Even though there are multiple tests and symptoms to confirm the pregnancy, it's a little hard to believe it's really true. When I saw Raspberry with a little beating heart on the monitor, that's when I truly understood that there's a little person growing in there.

My gut feeling is that Raspberry is a stand up person and powerful witch. I had a conversation with Raspberry before conceiving, asking when we'd conceive. Raspberry's response was, "I don't think it should be up to me. You are the one who has to go through all the hard work and worry, so it's better if you just tell me when you think it's the right time." Then, Raspberry came exactly when I asked - no sooner or later - right down to the day (give or take a few days). Doesn't that sound like a nice kid? Recently, I was feeling kinda down in the dumps about being a pregnant vegan, generally out of worry as to whether I have the skills to get all of the right nutrition in me, and suddenly I had this vision of a toddler climbing on me, saying, "Mommy, Mommy! One of the reasons I wanted to be your kid was because of your diet, amongst other things. Don't be sad. I like it." Now, I understand that no toddler would be able to actually say all that, but such things happen in visions. This seemed like further evidence that Raspberry is fundamentally cool. The reason I think Raspberry is a powerful witch is that, when I asked to conceive, I asked for a super witch who had done all their work on the other side and was ready, willing, and happy to be our child, fitting into our family with joy and ease. I figured that there were souls like that waiting to be born in this day and age, and better one of these be born in my family rather than some of the other options out there.

In short, I couldn't be more delighted. All the other witches I know have no end of kisses, pats and hugs for little Raspberry, and they frequently sing and chant for her/his benefit. I love the idea of Raspberry associating songs, chants and dancing in ritual with the comforts of the womb. What a cool way to enter into the world!